Last night, I invited some friends over to make sausage.
Like, to grind it up using my meat grinder attachment.
This was the real deal.
I bought a giant pork shoulder, poured myself some wine, and readied myself for victory.
Sometimes things don’t turn out the way you’ve planned them, chickens.
First of all, we cut the pork shoulder into giant chunky pieces, which is apparently not the way to go.
We tried to weigh it to figure out how much meat we actually had (it came with a bone in it), but the scale refused to work.
Frustrated, I contemplated how to know what we were actually working with.
Ky’s next words were “put that bone in my hand,” which I did.
She declared that the bone was exactly .67 lbs, thus leaving us with 3 lbs of pork shoulder.
She’s so smart.
Next up, we headed to the grinder to try and start turning shoulder into sausage meat.
After struggling with the attachment for awhile and getting nowhere fast, we abandoned that model and Ky and I started dicing the pork into tiny pieces.
Which took forever.
In a moment of desperation, I put a straw in my red wine so I could dice and drink at the time.
Can you blame me?
We then read on the internet that we should freeze the pork pieces for 20-30 minutes, so we popped a cookie sheet full of pork shoulder into the freezer and drank some more wine.
We also read that there was an X shaped piece crucial to making the whole grinder work properly.
It turns out, I seem to be missing that piece.
Kitchen-Aid, you’ll be hearing about this.
We still thought that we could make it work using the now near-frozen pieces and our less-than-perfect grinder, but our results were still stringy and decidedly un-sausage like.
I should have maybe bought a pound of emergency sausage.
CJ mentioned that maybe we should just fry up the pork and somehow use that in our pasta recipe.
We rejected the idea of fried pork pasta pretty quickly.
But then JW (who had come home from studying to assist with this now certain disaster), had an idea.
And he pulled out our food processor.
Which saved the day.
After running it through the grater blade, we had something that resembled ground meat.
Which we then mixed with fennel, salt, pepper, hot pepper flakes, cold red wine, parmesan cheese, and parsley.
We hunted down the recipe from here.
And it was 9:00 PM.
It’s fashionable to eat a late dinner, right?
I thought so.
Next up, we sauteed onions, garlic, olive oil, and the delicious sausage until everything was browned.
Once the kitchen smelled amazing, we dumped in two giant cans of diced tomatoes and white beans, added some salt and pepper and red wine, and let the whole thing simmer until it was even later and we were starving.
Hunks of bread were consumed.
So was more straw wine.
Finally, at around 10:00 PM, we mixed two pounds of ziti rigate with our delicious sauce, sat down on the couch, and enjoyed the fruits of our labor.
And man were they delicious.
Even if the sausage making was a fiasco.
There’s nothing like a good adventure, chickadees. Especially when the end results are delicious, despite being delayed. Enjoy Sunday, everyone!