hold me up/wrap me up

Morning, chickadees.

And sorry for soaring right past Monday.

Yesterday was one of those days that I just couldn’t get into.

The fact that it was Monday meant it was already working against me.

Added to it, I was having one of Those Days.

You guys, I don’t know if I talk about my RA too much or too little.

Sometimes I’d rather not bring it up, and sometimes I want to talk about it for an excruciatingly long time, because I think maybe I can just talk it right out of me.

Or make it a joke: check out Nikki, stumbling around like an old person. Just give me a second, I’ll catch up.

It’s manageable, I tell everyone.

And it is. I can still go to yoga and play soccer and lift Tobin and tell jokes and laugh until my sides hurt.

Those are my current priorities.

But sometimes, after a lot of annoying small things (never, chickens, is it just one thing), I get frustrated.

I’ve never been patient, chicks.

RA teaches me I don’t always have a choice.

Sometimes after not being able to wear the shoes I want because my ankles won’t cooperate (you never liked those boots anyway, I lie to myself), or struggling to open a container (and chuckling just a little bit because it’s a prescription pain medication I’m trying to get at) or just moving slow in the morning trying to get dressed, I have one of Those Days, where I decide to feel sorry for myself because I can’t do exactly what I used to be able to do.

And I don’t always feel like sharing that with the world, chickadees, because here’s the thing:

I’m really lucky. I have a husband who can open anything I can’t (I loosened it for you, you know), friends who listen to me babble on about all of my harebrained schemes to cure myself (and hand me Vitamin Shoppe coupons so it doesn’t cost me too much) while I find the right medication, a mom who makes me anything I want gluten free, and joints that still manage to take me where I need to go, even though my immune system insists on attacking them for no real reason.

And so I go to yoga, and I tell someone (all of you) that I’m mad, and I remember all of the above.

And I feel much better about the whole thing.

So today’s not gonna be one of Those Days, chickadees.

In yoga last night, I set an intention to be positive, and so despite the fact that I was sweating so much at the time that I could be counted as delirious, I’m sticking with it.

Enjoy this one, chickens. It’s a beautiful day out there.

 

 

 

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4 Comments

Filed under Chicago, Did I really do that?, Reflections

4 responses to “hold me up/wrap me up

  1. You are my hero, Nikki. I love you very much.

  2. Grace Hendricks

    Hope you are feeling better. I went to Boston with Aunt Kathy Tuesday. we went to see the Red Sox ( They Lost) IT WAS A GREAT NIGHT, Went to Quincy Market. We ate at some Special fish restaurant..Did a lot of walking. We took pictures were the bomb went off and saw all the sneakers and all the flowers people leave everyday,,I signed my name on a

    poster board. It was quite something to see. Glad I went. We stay over and got home today.

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