i wanna look back and say/i did all that i could

Ok chickadees.

Today is my first day back at the office.

I’m taking all the deep breaths for this one.

Generally speaking, I am one lucky duck. I’m heading back to a job that I like, and T is hanging with JW and my mom this week, so the daycare drop off doesn’t start until next week.

On the topic of daycare, I am 100% in love with where he’s headed (oh, another blessing is here, is what A proclaimed when she saw T for the first time, and who doesn’t love that), and so that’s one less thing to worry about.

Also, I know this guy’s got Theo’s back, and what’s more reassuring than that?



Here though, on the precipice of my next step, I’d like to report on a few things I learned/did/experienced in my first 12 weeks of being someone’s mom.

I promise that now that I’m unleashed on the world at large again, I might post about things other than my sweet baby sometimes.

But only sometimes.

Anyway, here’s a list of interesting things I’ve learned on this ride so far:

1. I will never be a napper. Despite everyone reassuring me that I would turn into one upon birthing a child, I have never been able to sleep when T sleeps, and have taken a total of 2 naps during maternity leave.  Please keep this in mind when you talk to me and I make no sense.

2. When you have to do something for someone who depends on you, you have a way better shot at buckling down and doing it. Before I had T, you couldn’t pay me to drive, well, anywhere. If I couldn’t walk or hop on the bus, I probably wasn’t doing it. When you’ve got a baby who needs to hit the doctor’s office for a wellness visit, it’s embarrassing to panic because you’re worried about how many left turns you’re gonna have to make. T needing me to show up for him made me show up for myself (and kick that sad I can’t drive excuse for good- unless I want JW to take the wheel, that is).

3. I have re-learned every song that Raffi has ever recorded. I now consider this one of my greatest skills (which is probably why I need to go back to work now).

4. It takes a village, and I have the best village there is. I’m still eating meals out of my freezer, you guys. And my friends have been there for walk taking, advice giving, baby admiring, and reassuring me that I’m on the right track. My sister-in-law has brought me approximately one million tiny outfits for T. My mom has been hanging with me and T big time, feeding me constantly, and telling me funny things about when my siblings and I were little that make me realize that this is all just a journey and it’s cool that I don’t have all the answers.

Also, I lucked out in the husband department. I am 100% convinced T couldn’t have made out with a better dad than this guy.

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5. My mantra is still fake it ’til you make it. And there is not one thing wrong with that.

6. It’s been only 12 weeks, but man, my life is so much sweeter with this little guy in it.

photo (26)

Enjoy the sunshine chickadees, and throw a little good energy in the direction of my day!


1 Comment

Filed under Reflections

One response to “i wanna look back and say/i did all that i could

  1. Julie Hermann

    I am so happy your mom is near… for you AND for her!! T is blessed to have all this goodness around him! xoxo

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