I invented that one.

You guys, a cold has fallen upon my house.

And probably all of your houses too, because it’s winter and this is the stage in winter during which it is certainly safe to say:

Winter, you suck.

You know what else sucks? Trying to convince your pretty-much-two-year-old that he should rest and also that he should, please, please, please let you wipe his nose.

This usually ends in one of three ways:

  1. He makes a run for the couch and bounds up on it, belly first, smearing his snotty nose into the furniture.
  2. He rummages around in the cargo hold of his ride-on bus, pulls out a dirty pink washcloth that I thought I took from him weeks ago, wipes his nose, and then rubs the washcloth on his head while laughing uncontrollably.
  3. He points his finger at me, makes a face that is basically a snarl and that I’m very familiar with because I invented it, kid, and then yells “Mama, stop!”

Children are a blessing you guys.

The main thing is, even when they’re doing these kinds of things it is important to show your dominance and wipe their noses anyway, even though you’re terrified of them and actually are considering letting them live their lives as running, snotty faucets, because they can smell your fear.

In the meantime, clementines, water, and soup are the only prescription I have for beating the winter cold, and in conjunction, the winter toddler terrorist.

My advice is survivalist chickens, because that’s really the only end goal I’ve got.

Enjoy the sunshine!





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