So, if you don’t know me (which you probably do, if you’re reading this), I have been heading out on Halloween dressed as a panda since my senior year in high school. It first started when we were all sitting around discussing various costume ideas, and I was becoming agitated by the rush of “slutty” costumes that seemed to be overtaking campus. Slutty Nurse. Slutty Firewoman. Slutty Big Bird (not really- but you never know). I tried to think of the absolute least sexy thing I could be.
And so Panda was born.
Over the years, I’ve been various types of pandas, and I think each one has its high and low points (Kung Fu Panda was weapon heavy- I kept losing them. Geisha Panda required grease paint on my chest, and Ky hated doing that for me). However, I can probably show this to you via images than by my words, and so, here it is:
This Panda was made out of materials from Hancock Fabrics and Walgreens in Rogers Park in the course of one blustery afternoon. I fashioned the headpiece out of earmuffs, a black hat, and some safety pins. This was also my first go on the face paint, so you can see that my neck is decidedly human toned. I spent the night at a house party with my lovely friends, and said things like “Panda can solve world peace–he says EVERYONE come to the keg party.” Panda drank a lot of jungle juice that night. Out of a tupperware container.
Kung Fu Panda was an idea I came up with prior to the animated feature starring Jack Black. This panda was nothing but trouble from the beginning, touring the Apartment with Jen (as Midnight Fairy) and a few other characters. B had to collect my ninja stars and other weapons all night, since I kept drunkenly losing them. Also, a man dressed as a cowboy took a weird liking to me, and so before B scared him off, we all did a shot to the World Wildlife Federation (his idea). Favorite line of the night:
Creepy Cowboy: “What do Pandas drink?”
Midnight Fairy: “They drink vodka tonics.”
Last year we all went over to M, M and C’s for another house party (this one much better than the tupperware jungle juice party mentioned earlier). It was lots of fun, and I didn’t do anything too outrageous as Panda. Ky remade my headpiece. because my friends broke to me that what I thought was the craftiest thing I had ever accomplished was actually “kind of ghetto.” My new headpiece is much better. What I remember most from this night is dancing tons, and trying to figure out a way to keep from sweating off the copious amounts of grease paint K so generously agreed to apply. In the end, nothing could be done, and I had to toss the geisha costume at the end.
This year, I decided last minute to be Vampire Panda. I thought it was timely, what with the vampire craze sweeping pop culture. I have learned to take my pop culture cues, as I am still kicking myself for not going as “Panda at the Disco” when it would have been timely. This costume was easy to make, since I just needed fangs and blood, and a cape (the cape was dubbed “Jr. Cape” since that’s what the package said. Apparently I don’t fit in adult capes). This year I also upgraded to a turtleneck, after my promise to K (who went as business casual witch) to never again make her grease paint any part of me that wasn’t my face.
In all, this is probably one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done (and it’s hard to discriminate- I’ve done a lot), but it’s super fun to add on to my panda wardrobe every year. I hope you’ve enjoyed my montage, and please, feel free to give me a heads up for good ideas in 2010.
To the WWF!