And welcome to another week!
Today is a post about feminism.
Or like, maybe just choosing your choices.
Last Friday, I threw up this video, in which Lin-Manuel Miranda (master of my heart) so effortlessly answers “yes, of course” when Emma Watson asks him if he’s a feminist.
I loved it, obviously.
Then I read this article, coincidentally on the same day, and then I had all these thoughts that you know I have to share with you because I never can help it.
I hate when people hesitate when they’re asked if they’re feminists. Like, you know they want to say they are, but you know they’re a little afraid to say “yes,” like they might get judged.
I shamefully admit that this is how I felt when people asked if I thought gay people were okay when I was fifteen in rural Michigan.
I mean, obviously I thought that gay people were more than okay, but also, someone was about to snicker at me or roll their eyes, or maybe even be outraged.
Luckily I’ve grown to like being an outrage.
So anyway, I get why people want to pause.
I’ve been a pauser.
Or they say, “yeah, I believe men and women are equal, but I’m not a feminist.”
Yes, ma’am (or sir!), you sure are.
I know that there is a group of people that think feminism means that you think men are the worst (that’s called misandry, I know, we don’t hear that word very often), or that women who do certain things are wrong, but it’s not true.
I also hate when I see women walking around, being judgmental about other women’s choices, because that’s not feminism. It’s actually just being shitty.
And there are people who aren’t paying enough attention and are gonna pick up on that and assume that’s the feminist message.
So here’s what feminism is, you guys:
It means I think men and women are equal. And it means that I believe, really, really hard, in your choice to do whatever makes you happy. If you want to stay at home and raise 20 babies and hang with your husband or wife, yes! If you want to ditch all relationships, run a huge business, and maybe just own a cat or dog or just yourself, yes!
If you want to try and do both, awesome! Share your secrets, please!
Anyway, the article I cited above bothered me because essentially that woman is a feminist, she just doesn’t understand the definition (which is okay, we’re all here to learn). If you are given the opportunity to truly choose your choices and that’s what you want for other people, men and women, you’re a feminist.
There are extremists everywhere, chickens, and so next time you see someone who’s judging, or guilty of misandry, try and remember that’s what it is.
It’s not feminism.
I got to thinking about this because I’ve been thinking about bringing a lady baby into the world a lot lately (which is good, since she’s due to show up in 11 weeks), and I realized in my thought process that I think it’s just as important that Theo considers him a feminist as it is that my daughter considers herself one.
We’re all gonna be feminists in my house.
Feminists mean we’re psyched that Mama goes to work every day, because that’s what she loves, but if she didn’t, we’d be good with that too.
It means we’re cool with me keeping my last name because I love it, but that if took your husband’s name because you loved that, I think it’s awesome too. I don’t think any of it will confuse our kids, because they’re smarter than us, like a million times.
It means if Dad wants to stay home and we can afford it, cool- go for it (well really, let’s maybe talk because we have a true professional helping us to raise our babies and I’m not about to give her up, but…you get what I’m saying).
I think what it all comes down to is that we want people to have the freedom to pursue what makes them happy, and we want society to back that notion.
I want everyone to say “yes” to the question of feminism as easily as Lin does.
And with that, I’m off to choose some more life choices this morning. Enjoy it, chickens!